Maybe you’ve recently come to realize that your anger is driving people away. Maybe someone, like your spouse or children, have pointed out how you seem to always react in an angry fashion. However you’ve come to the realization your anger is a problem you’ve tried to control it. But nothing seems to work. Maybe it’s time to seek help and learn some effective strategies that have proven to be effective.
Anger is a physiological arousal to perceived threats. It serves to mobilize us to take action and helps us to sustain effort. This “fight or flight response” is hard-wired in us, is triggered when we believe our survival is at stake, focuses our attention on the survival threat and helps us not to succumb to fear, pain or shame.
Anger, in itself, is not a problem. It only becomes a problem when we don’t handle it in a healthy way. On a physiological level not being able to handle our anger can result in high blood pressure and heart problems. On a relational level it can drive friends and loved ones away.
Among the common triggers for anger are losing your patience, feeling unappreciated or feeling that an injustice has been done. Other causes may be memories of past traumatic events and worrying about personal problems.
Even though anger may have been a problem for a long period of time it is possible to learn strategies to help one deal with it. While feelings of anger will never go away it is possible to learn how to manage it.